My Partner Is Pressuring Me to Have an Abortion, but I’m Not Sure

Finding out you’re unexpectedly pregnant can make it feel like your world’s been turned upside down. And if your partner is telling you that abortion is the only option, but you’re not sure, it can make an already difficult situation feel even more confusing.

Maybe your partner says they’re not ready to be a parent. Perhaps they’re worried about finances, your relationship, or what this pregnancy will mean for your future together. You may even feel like your relationship depends on making the decision they want you to make.

If you’re feeling pressured, it’s important to remember this: you deserve the time and space to make your own informed decision. Before making a permanent choice, take a step back and consider what you want, not just what someone else is telling you to do.

Read on to learn how to ensure you’re making your own decision. Or contact Warrenton Pregnancy Center to find a safe space to talk and find answers.

Recognize the Difference Between Support and Pressure

It’s normal for your partner to have thoughts and feelings about the pregnancy. After all, this news affects both of you.

There’s a difference, however, between expressing an opinion and trying to make the decision for someone else.

Pressure can sound like:

• “We can’t afford a baby.”
• “If you have this baby, I’m leaving.”
• “You don’t have any other choice.”
• “You need to do this for us.”

Statements like these can make you feel trapped, especially if you’re afraid of losing the relationship.

Healthy support looks different. A supportive partner may share their concerns, but they also listen to yours, respect your feelings, and give you the opportunity to make your own decision.

If you feel like you’re being pressured, it’s okay to take a step back from your partner. A decision made out of fear or coercion is not the same as a decision made freely.

Give Yourself Space to Learn About All of Your Options

When someone is urging you toward abortion, it can feel like you have to decide immediately.

The truth is that one of the best things you can do is gather information before making any decision. This will help ensure that you’re making a decision based on facts rather than fear.

Take time to learn about:

• Parenting and the support available in your community.
• Adoption and what the process looks like today.
• Abortion, including how it works and the potential physical and emotional risks.

If you’ve had a positive pregnancy test, it’s also important to schedule an ultrasound before making any pregnancy decision. An ultrasound nurse performs our scans, and you’ll be able to get all of your questions answered. 

An ultrasound can determine:

• Whether the pregnancy is located inside the uterus.
• Whether the pregnancy appears to be viable (or if you’ve miscarried).
• Approximately how far along you are.

This information helps protect your health and gives you important medical facts before you move forward. For example, an ultrasound can determine if you’re having an ectopic pregnancy, which is a medical emergency that needs immediate treatment.

Talk with Someone Who Won’t Pressure You

When emotions are running high, it can be difficult to think clearly on your own.

That’s why it can be incredibly helpful to talk with someone who isn’t personally invested in your decision.

Consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, mentor, pastor, counselor, or pregnancy center advocate. When choosing, it’s important to pick someone who will listen without trying to pressure you toward one choice over another.

As you process your situation, ask yourself:

• “What do I want?”
• “If I weren’t afraid of disappointing someone else, what decision would I make?”
• “Am I making this decision because it aligns with my values, or because I feel like I have no other choice?”

You deserve the opportunity to answer those questions honestly before making a life-changing decision.

You Don’t Have to Face This Alone

If your partner is pressuring you to have an abortion but you’re not sure it’s what you want, Warrenton Pregnancy Center is here for you.

We offer pregnancy testing, limited ultrasounds for qualifying clients, and a safe, compassionate place to talk through your questions and explore all of your pregnancy options. Our caring team won’t pressure you toward any decision. Instead, we’ll provide accurate medical information, listen to your concerns, and help you make an informed choice that’s right for you.

You deserve to be heard. Contact Warrenton Pregnancy Center today to schedule your free and confidential appointment. We’re here for you.

Warrenton Pregnancy Center does not provide or refer for abortions.